You can love, lose and survive.
We feel horrible, and there is a numbing emptiness in us when we lose a loved one, yet we bounce back and fill our selves up again, we all seem to survive it.
Yes, indeed Dr. Phil was right when he said we love, lose and survive but not until October 31st 2005 , till then bad things only happened to others, I never thought I will lose a child or even be able to survive. Then the unbelievable, the unthinkable happened. The pain caused by the wound has helped me to cherish life and feel the tenderness and freedom of healing.
Life can stop at any moment for anyone, it doesn’t matter how successful or how religious you are, how much good you do for others, how many degrees you have, or how well you have planned for the future, misery strikes anyone. All are vulnerable to death , young or old. That evening I learned Life is instant…will be over any moment. Never take anything for granted or miss an opportunity to live.
I lost my six year old and the world has stopped for me, I am hurting, I looked around expecting everyone to stop for me. But no one has stopped, from sunrise to sunset the world kept turning on. I wanted to stand still , staring at the blankness , at the wilderness but it’s a jungle out there, with life moving on with greater speed., no one cared how bad you’re hurt . It taught another important lesson Life moves on , life goes on whether we want it or not. Your job, family, no one can stop to give you a hand or enough time to grieve, better bounce back and learn to move on.
One more important lesson I learned is cope mechanism is unique, there is no right or wrong way of grieving. Within the family, each one has a different way of coping. One might go to a silent mode like my husband , and on the other hand I was talking too much and feeling guilty about it. He didn’t want to eat while I wallowed in coffee and chocolates. One may find people and company helpful, other one may need solitude. Don’t try to be someone else, do it your own way. It all depends on one’s perspective, so don’t tell someone to do it your way but help them cope in their own way and help them understand it’s okay and it’s normal.
Today I want to tell you, be thankful for the bad things that happened in life, they will help you to appreciate and enjoy life more and also open your eyes to see good things that were unnoticed before.
We never get over it but learn to get through it and be an healing presence in someone’s life.