Love, Lose and Live

You can love, lose and survive.

We feel horrible, and there is a numbing emptiness in us when we lose a loved one, yet we bounce back and fill our selves up again, we all seem to survive it.
Yes, indeed Dr. Phil was right when he said we love, lose and survive but not until October 31st 2005 , till then bad things only happened to others, I never thought I will lose a child or even be able to survive.  Then the unbelievable, the unthinkable happened. The pain caused by the wound has helped me to cherish life and feel the tenderness and freedom of healing.
Life can stop at any moment for anyone, it doesn’t matter how successful or how religious you are, how much good you do for others, how many degrees you have, or how well you have planned for the future, misery strikes anyone. All are vulnerable to death , young or old. That evening I learned Life is instant…will be over any moment. Never take anything for granted or miss an opportunity to live.
I lost my six year old and the world has stopped for me, I am hurting, I looked around expecting everyone to stop for me. But no one has stopped, from sunrise to sunset the world kept turning on. I wanted to stand still , staring at the blankness , at the wilderness but it’s a jungle out there, with life moving on with greater speed., no one cared how bad you’re hurt . It taught another important lesson Life moves on , life goes on whether we want it or not. Your job, family, no one can stop to give you a hand or enough time to grieve, better bounce back and learn to move on.
One more important lesson I learned is cope mechanism is unique, there is no right or wrong way of grieving. Within the family, each one has a different way of coping. One might go to a silent mode like my husband , and on the other hand I was talking too much and feeling guilty about it. He didn’t want to eat while I wallowed in coffee and chocolates. One may find people and company helpful, other one may need solitude. Don’t try to be someone else, do it your own way. It all depends on one’s perspective, so don’t tell someone to do it your way but help them cope in their own way and help them understand it’s okay and it’s normal.
Today I want to tell you, be thankful for the bad things that happened in life, they will help you to appreciate and enjoy life more and also open your eyes to see good things that were unnoticed before.
We never get over it but learn to get through it and be an healing presence in someone’s life.



Lenten Dilemmas! “Be creative, don’t feel deprived😚”

Lent” comes every year and we have thus same question, what shall i cook during this lent . Be creative and manipulate a few ingredients and you will find a variety of items consume.

Today i got a variety of greens fresh from the farm and decided to make something we in Kerala (a state in India) call *thoran*. This is served as a side with rice and dhal. For those who are not familiar with this may make sandwiches or wraps

For sandwiches spead hummus (protein ) on the slices of your choice of bread (carbohydrate) and add this prepared vegetable dish. Balanced diet.

To make a wrap mix the prepared greens with cooked red beans or kidney beans and your choice of dressing and wrap it in a tortilla or any kind of flat bread.

You can make this with any kind of leafy vegetables. Cabbage, spinach, callaloo, bok choy etc. My favorite is a combination of chopped celery and carrots.

Step 1

20180218_151811.jpgwash and drain the leaves

Step 2

20180218_181725.jpgFinely chop the leafy vegetable. You can chop them in a chopper or food processor.

Step 320180218_194328.jpgFinely chop an onion.

Step 4


Chop 2 or 3 cloves of garlic and 1 or 2 bird pepper( 1 jalapeno ). Pepper is optional only if you can handle the heat.😃.

Step 5


Heat a tablespoon of oil in  a pan / kadai/ wok and sautè the onions, garlic and pepper .When the onions are pink add salt to taste, a teaspoon of cumin powder, and turmeric powder and stir for a minute and add the chopped leaves. ( if you are using cumin seeds add them to the hot oil before the onions and garlic and allow them to splutter. If you’re not familiar with cumins, add oregano or rosemary).



Cover the  wok and cook the vegetable for a few minutes.  Remove the cover and cook till all the water has evaporated.


Keep stirring till it’s done to avoid sticking to the bottom of the pot and burning.

Step 6 (optional)


Adf grated coconut and stir for 2 minutes.

Your dish is ready to  be served, wrapped or sandwiched.☺

A Journey to Success.

There is a quote by Arthur Ashe that goes “Success is a journey, not a destination. The doing is often more important than the outcome.” And where does the journey begin? Journey to success begins with a desire or a dream. This is often the easy part. In order for the journey to continue it has to followed up with persistence and hard work, determination and perseverance. And of course self-confidence is vital to the process.
Greetings !
A Savory comfort food, with a crisp exterior filled with a savory potato stuffing that goes very well over a hot cup of chai especially on a rainy day. I am in Nassau Bahamas, far away from home, craving for Garam Garam or in other words hot ,hot samosas on a cold rainy day just a few days after landing here for the first time. I unable to run out to the street vendor for my samosas because mostly it would involve flying rather than running. India is about 22 hours flying time away from here. Besides am not rich enough. Gaylord and Clay Oven the indian restaurants in Nassau were expensive to me. Well even water was expensive to me at the time due to the constant converting of dollars to rupees in my head. Rupees was home and dollar was foreign. Now i find myself doing the reverse when i visit home.
But back to the young Susan craving Samosas. The craving grew in my mind. I desired the taste and my dreams smelled of potatoes. I didn’t know how to make samosas but I wanted to eat it. I now have my dream and desire. And i saw only one way out. I set out to make my own samosas and enjoy it whenever I wanted it without the guilt of spending a fortune on one Samosa. Journey to success begins with a small step and that’s the first step towards success, the dream, the desire.
I figured wanting will lead to trying and trying to faliure….was faliure an option? It made me a bit apprehensive but mustered up my courage and self-confidence and went to a friend who made good samosas for advice. Now remember, it was before the era of unlimited Internet access, or you tube videos. Tips from my friend was the only resource and I thought “Oh this isnt too hard. I can easily do it”.That was a bit ambitious. I learned that as soon as droplets of oil began hitting my skin. My first attempt to make samosas was a flop. The shells were not crispy, and it crumbled in the oil,causing the oil to fly out of the pan, making a mess in the kitchen. I was disappointed, my initial confidence had gone down the drain.
I tried again, and again, and again, each time learning something i shouldn’t do, until I got it in one piece. That was a step. I was encouraged even though the taste and the crispness wasn’t up to the mark / standard. I was on a journey to success so failure wasn’t an option, I worked harder and harder till I was satisfied with the result. Persistence. Working persistently toward your goal is the next step towards success.
With Determination and perseverance I have achieved my goal. Today I can make samosas without much stress. Of course it is tedious and time-consuming task, but I am confident that I can make Samosas, even though they may not be the best samosas. Not everyone can be number one.
I have learned success is a journey, the effort is more important than the outcome. Measure of success is not how tough of a problem you’re facing, but whether you dealt with your problems to the best of your ability and how you faced the challenges along the way. The lessons you learn will remain a lifetime but the samosas are gone within 2 hours.